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VALDEZ (1975-1997?)
After casting off the shackles of
parental oppression at the age of five, Aaron Valdez, became the youngest
self-made millionaire in American history. At the age of six he was lost in a
hunting exposition in India. He spent the next seven years meditating and hoboing
throughout the countryside. By fourteen he had made his way back to New York
where he served as Chief Subway Engineer for the Metropolitan Transit Authority.
Two years later he again left the States, heading South to Mexico and then deeper
into Central America. After nearly a year of insobriety he woke up and found
himself as Gran Jefe of the Peoples Revolutionary Forces for Freedom in
Guatemala. (He also found a tattoo of the Virgin Mary covering his entire back.)
Shortly after, he left his comrads and kayaked across the Atlantic to Africa
where he taught more efficient and environmentally-friendly wood burning
techniques to the inhabitants of the most remote regions of the Congo. At
eighteen he visited Graceland where he claimed he received instructions from the
ghost of Elvis to move to Las Vegas and begin a spiritquest as a lounge singer.
At nineteen he was incarcerated in the Nevada State Hospital for the Criminally
Insane for the attempted murder of one Mel Torme, who he claimed to be the
Anti-Christ. In a matter of weeks he was released under the supervision of the
Purple Toe, a covert organization set up to monitor and control Anti-American
insurgences on the homefront. He served as Director of Propaganda for nearly a
year before making a daring escape involving two hundred forks, a tube of chap
stick, and a piece of bubble gum. At this point all conventional records of
existence ceased, although there are rumors that he moved to moved to Mississippi
and sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads to be the next Robert Johnson.
He would be twenty one today.
I chose this particular topic because I am
interested in how the media plays a role in our memories and how these shared
memories become part of generational definitions.
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